We all had that one BFF growing up in the ’90s—the person we stayed up late talking to on the phone, gossiped with about our strict parents, and coordinated outfits with, only to insist it was completely accidental. When you compare best friendships from the ’90s with those of today, plenty has changed, but the basics remain surprisingly familiar. We still spend late nights talking to our closest friends, sharing gossip, coordinating outfits, and being there for each other. We’re just older now, and there’s probably a lot more wine involved. Best friends have always been the siblings we chose for ourselves—the people who joined us for prank calls, playground adventures, crush-related heartbreak, and countless memories our actual siblings probably wish we would forget.
In the ’90s, friendship drama was wonderfully low-tech. Your BFF might promise to care for your digital pet while you were on vacation, only to let it die and completely destroy your trust. After a fight, you’d pass a handwritten note in class covered with sad faces, hearts, and a dramatic “LYLAS”—short for “love you like a sis.” Making peace might mean showing up with a $12 Starbucks drink and a smiling selfie today. Back then, you’d spend Saturday afternoons at the mall, buying fake nose rings at Claire’s before sneaking into an R-rated movie. These days, staying in with Netflix and a bottle—or several—of wine sounds much more appealing. Even finding love has changed: instead of using a cootie catcher to determine your soulmate and staging a carefully planned run-in during science class, your BFF might spend hours searching Facebook for a mysterious crush using nothing more than his middle name.
The way we have fun with our best friends may have evolved, but the need for a partner in crime certainly hasn’t. In the ’90s, you needed a whole group of girls to recreate the Spice Girls; today, your BFF is probably enough to attempt the “Single Ladies” dance. Back then, arguments could revolve around someone stealing your slap bracelet, copying your scrunchie, or refusing to share her Warheads. Today, friendship debates might involve Game of Thrones spoilers instead. When heartbreak struck in the ’90s, your BFF could show up to class with an extra Cosmic Brownie. Now, comfort might come in the form of yoga, manicures, pedicures, cheap wine, and a night out where your best friend has to politely—or not so politely—send an unwanted admirer away. Even communication has transformed: we once rang the doorbell or awkwardly called a friend’s house and hoped her dad didn’t answer. Now, a perfectly chosen emoji can say everything without requiring a single word.
Of course, causing trouble has changed too. The harmless mischief of Ding Dong Ditch, toilet-papering a neighbor’s house, or hiding a whoopie cushion under the music teacher’s chair has given way to very different kinds of chaos. Your BFF might now be your work wife, the person who convinces you that an impromptu Starbucks run is worth being late to work. And while playground disputes once ended with a dramatic report to Mom and Dad, adulthood tends to favor subtler forms of revenge. Instead of confronting the haters directly, you might simply enjoy a fabulous night out with your best friend and post enough pictures to make it very clear they weren’t invited. The technology, trends, and rules may have changed, but the heart of the BFF relationship hasn’t. Whether you were passing notes in class or sending a dozen emojis, your best friend was—and still is—the person you want beside you through all of life’s ridiculous, hilarious, and unforgettable moments.
